It is especially felt hard by a person who still cares, usually by the one who was left. It becomes unbearable because one’s life turns out to be empty and this undesired spare space appears nothing to be filled with. It feels that the life has lost its sense without a person you love and you are unable to do anything to change the situation. A relationship that was broken is not the end of the world, actually, but, however, it is usually and truly felt this way. For many people it ends up with the severest depression, turning to alcohol and drugs, suicidal thoughts. There are so many people who feel that they simply cannot handle this; break-up ruins their life. The more a person thinks about their ex the worse the whole thing goes. That is why it is important to understand some incomprehensible things about a break up that will not heal a hart that is broken but, perhaps, at least will make things easier to bear.

Talking helps a lot. People tend to suffer alone, especially men. They are not inclined to share their grief with other people sometimes because it’s too hard to discuss the mater, sometimes because the idea of being sympathized with or pitied is unbearable to them. But this is not right and a call to your friend will help you a lot. You can share your problem with your family, siblings, whoever you feel more disposed. By you simply talking and he/her listening you will feel how the stress relieves. It will not solve a problem but definitely will help you feel lighter and better. Talking helps analyzing. That is why people go to psychologists. To talk.

The last thing you should do after a break-up is to blame yourself. This is a very frequent situation if you were left. Unavoidable thoughts that you have done something deadly wrong and are undeserving invade the mind and torture. Nothing feeds a low self esteem as this. Do not let it happen. Notwithstanding the eloquent facts that life is over here, it is not so. Try to concentrate on your advantages and good sides; do not let yourself sink into the despair of self-unworthiness.

You have broken up and it is still hard to understand. You are still waiting for a phone call and keep dialing the painfully familiar number all over again. Stop doing that. Constant remembrance only aggravate the condition and you will never recover if continue doing this. Nobody forbids friendship with an ex but it will require time. When you feel that it all has healed you can contemplate the idea.

Another important thing is to try and go on with your life. Your depression will never leave you if you continue crying all the time and detach from the world. It sometimes seems next to impossible but make an effort and start doing something: sport, reading, cinema, shopping, whatever what gives you pleasure and sidetrack from sad thoughts. Or even better, try something new as a foreign language or tango class.

These are very simple tips but, perhaps, they will help. It is silly to expect that a heart will be healed soon especially if the relationship was long-lasting and serious; it is also different and individual for every person. Still, life has different things waiting ready for us and your break up can just be an introduction into something bigger and better. Keep hoping.

It is generally some trauma or stress that induces the condition of depression but the triggers of chronic one are not known for sure. Some of the most probable factors are heredity, chemical imbalance and some severe stress. Chronic depression can be also evoked by the stresses of chronic illness such as Parkinson’s disease, hormonal disorders, some chronic cardiac conditions, and also AIDS. Chemical imbalance, or actually, the imbalances of neurotransmitters, can trigger the state of depression, too, as it has already been said. However, the latter case can be helped by administering some medications that correct this imbalance. What concerns hereditary, it is frequent that depression can be traced though the history of different members’ lifelines.

Depression can not be diagnosed by any laboratory tests, no blood tests or CT scan are suitable for the condition. It is just individual symptoms and complains that help to state the diagnosis. Dysthymia has got less severe symptoms that major depression and they are generally the following: sleeping problems, fatigue, lack of interest, feelings of guilt and despair, alternations in appetite patterns, troubles concentrating, suicidal and death thoughts, etc.

Depression, either chronic or temporary, can be treated. For this purposes a combination of psychotherapy and drugs is used. The former is of great assistant in finding solutions to the problems, when the latter helps to restore chemical balance and relieve sadness and low spirits. The following drugs can be prescribed for depression treatment: SSRIs, TCAs and MAOIs. They are really effective but should be administered only after doctor’s prescription and approval and under his or her supervision. They als

Perhaps, you hear about it for the first time but it is really simple. A notebook or a Word document can be a tool. Taking notes is a powerful therapy acknowledged by all doctors; it is broadly used for the treatment of various mental illnesses. There are various techniques and just ways but you should concentrate on the following points, perhaps. They are simple and do not take much time (effort – yes) but they are effective really.

• Start with writing down 5 things you are grateful for daily. This will take effort, perhaps, but it is worth it. You can write about everything you feel – be it a smile from a stranger or a see breeze, just be sincere. This will help to see life from a different, brighter perspective.
• Another thing is being positive. This means writing down 5 positive things that happened to you during the day from the moment you get up till the moment you go to bed, or whatever. This small exercise will help you to realize that a day was not a waste, actually. It will give you a feeling of fullness and won’t let you despair for another day gone empty.
• Another thing to put down in your journal is the list of your accomplishments. I play tennis and I am good at it – this is an accomplishment and it can not be taken for granted. You do not necessarily need to be a great tennis player – everything you consider an accomplishment will do. This exercise will help you to realize that you are not an empty place and, again, that your life is full of the things that you simply underestimate.
• One more thing you can do to help yourself is to write down a certain goal for every day. It should not necessarily be global, goals can be short-term or long-term; it does not matter. But they will give you food for reflection and a stimulus for action. Give yourself a motivation simply to get up from the bed in the morning no matter how deep in depression you are. As soon as you start doing it regularly you will feel the difference.

But, perhaps, the most important thing in this exercise is to exclude everything negative. At all. And focus on the positive instead. These are very simple recommendations and you can add and edit as you like; the most important is the process. Just start helping yourself now.

Earlier all the abnormalities in behavior were explained by vapors, melancholia or nervous prostration. But nowadays all the emotional and mental aspects has got their names. Therefore we differentiate schizophrenia, post-traumatic stress, an anxiety or panic attack, bipolar disorder, or depression, and etc. These are all subcategories of one broad condition called nervous breakdown.

As a term a nervous breakdown has no medical evaluation but it has become very popular. Generally the condition show no or little sighs until something triggers it – the last straw – and then serious things like unprecedented behavior or suicide happens. A nervous breakdown is not something that comes out of nowhere; it has always some underlying reasons that are hidden deep and sometimes people are even unaware of them. It is also not a temporary condition. Unfortunately, nowadays is becomes a more and more wide-spread situation. We live in the world that moves at times too fast, there is too much pressure around. There is sometimes too little time left to understand ourselves; it is sometimes too difficult not to develop any inner conflict that will end up with a nervous breakdown. And this is not good and this is not useful as a person suffers and cannot be happy any more. Some people who have been through it compare it with loosing the sense of life.

Though the following symptoms cannot be referred to this very condition only make sure you read them carefully. Their appearance may signify the possibility of coming nervous breakdown. Among them are: loss of interest in any communication, work, or any interaction or activity; a desire of detachment and isolation; insomnia; anxiety and panic attacks; fits of irritation and anger; changes in appetite pattern; tendency to having hallucinations; suicidal thoughts; attraction to alcohol or drugs as the means of escape, etc.

Though the condition may happen to everyone some people are in a more high-risk group than the others. They are people with an experience of severe stress (i.e. trauma, war, even birth of a child – it is sometimes called post-partum depression) and who have constant very stressful surroundings. People with a history of mental disorders like schizophrenia or bi-polar depression are also prone to a nervous breakdown if the situation involves stress as well.

What to do if a nervous breakdown actually happens?  The most important thing is to find out what king of disorder is actually involved and only after that to move forward. Then the treatment is carried out. It can include medications, therapy, consulting, and what else, or the combination of methods. Rest is essential for such patients.

The best way to prevent the condition from happening is to take care of yourself and be careful with your emotional and mental state. Recognize the signs and they will be easier to handle. Just do not test your nervous system until it will give a crack and you will have a hell of life. Ask for help if you feel that you need it. Be attentive to other people as well. They are also very fragile even if they seem so tough.

The phenomenon is most frequent either among teenage females or people suffering from borderline personality disorder or dissociative disorders. It is characteristic to these people to be sexually abused in childhood and having also some eating disorders as well. The condition is not the one that necessarily leads to suicide but frequently it does, at least to the attempt. In some way a desire to kill oneself and to hurt are connected but they have a little different grounds: the former comes from the feeling of hopelessness and rejection while the latter from the feelings of guilt, or, rather, shame; it may be also an attempt to ease tension that a person feels.

You can suspect a person is liable to self mutilation if he or she tends to wear long-sleeve clothes even if the weather is hot. Such people also require privacy a lot and they need it more than other people, it seems. They are also usually depressed.

There exist some presuppositions of why a person feels a desire to cause harm to himself or herself. Some think that this comes from the necessity to get rid of such strong negative emotions like shame, guilt or anger. The inability to adequately show them or the fear to do it can take such a disguise. There is also a theory and some people prove that self mutilation helps to relieve anxiety end tension. It is also a way to redirect your anger from someone to yourself and therefore relieve it. It is also a way to attract attention and to show that assistance and support is needed. There are also theories that this condition can be connected with the disbalance of serotonin system of the brain. This makes such people more aggressive and impulsive; and causing harm to oneself makes the brain to release endorphins and therefore the level of distress lessens and a person feels relieved. Nevertheless this is all fraught with certain consequences and a person may become dependant on the habit.

That is why this condition is dangerous. As soon as a person becomes dependant it may grow into a serious addiction and evoke changes in behavior. In this case a professional help is frequently required. The best way is to apply for a person who has experience with cases of self mutilation and knows how to handle it.

There are certain types of therapies used. One of the effective techniques for lessening of stress and tension is a self relaxation technique. Group therapy is a useful thing as a person will be able to see himself or herself in a perspective of people who feel the same and stop thinking as if his/her case is a unique one. Family therapy is beneficial for both a patient and the relatives; it is able to provide with better mutual understanding and support. In some cases anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications can be recommended to a person. There is also one more quite effective method to cope with the condition and this is meditation. This is a good way to learn how to identify and control own feelings. Finally, the most recent method is in-patient hospitalization treatment. It presupposes a multi-disciplinary team approach and makes a person feel a lot better.

As it has already been mentioned self mutilation will more likely occur in people with other emotional disorders, history of sexual abuse and suicidal thoughts. The less experience of abuse a person had in early years, the less is an inclination to suicide or any emotional illness the better is the prognosis that a person will not be affected with the desire to hurt him/herself. But it is very frequent that these things cannot be easily controlled. But one thing can be helped – and that is children abuse. It is something that requires to be stopped as every child deserves a happy childhood in order to grow up a happy person.

Depression is not something you can hide and it might be even called “infectious” in some way. And it is definitely able to influence your relations with your near and dear. It may easily make your marriage a hell. Simply imagine living under one roof with a constantly displeased and gloomy person!

It is compulsory for any happy marriage that the emotional and mental health of both partners was in order; otherwise it will be hell. The mood and tension will spread all around the house and make another partner also miserable; the whole marriage thing will be put at risk.

Depression brings dissatisfaction, displeasure, apathy and a desire to withdraw. The depressed partner is unhappy but so is the other one. He or she in their turn tries hard to heal this emotional breakdown, to understand and handle permanent negativity, isolation and frequent decrease in sex drive. This is very hard. The depression of one makes the whole relationship dreary. Everything around seems negative at first and then it turns negative. It is very hard for a depressed person to see the light side of the things, to see any perspective. This makes things even worse. There are other possibilities but the depressed person seems oblivious of them. Sometimes depression is so severe that there it is not only a prospect of positive that seems impossible; there is no energy to want to seek it.

Depression is characterized by total indifference to any activities, former interests and hobbies; a person is easily and quickly exhausted; he experiences problems with sleeping and eating; it is hard to concentrate and follow through your responsibilities. Your feelings and desires become less expressed and you may even fell indifferent. And here is the worst risk – your partner can decide that you no longer love him or her.

Sometimes depression feels like as if life happens to you not that you live you life. The further the worse you feel. You can have a very deep desire to be left alone and in no need to communicate or contact. The whole condition is accompanied by the sensations of sorrow and dejection, utter gloom and irritation; or otherwise emotional numbness.

And once again, the most dangerous consequence is that the dull and depressed atmosphere around one partner is able to depress the other mate as well. When it happens is looks like the whole big thing that both have been creating for so long is going into pieces as no one sees the light; there is no one who is positive. The whole relationship sinks in negative.

Sometimes misunderstanding also impairs the state of things when one of the mates does not understands the depression of the other side and explains it wrong and starts blaming for nothing. Then resentment and irritation add themselves to the depression.

And though there is nothing to be ashamed in this condition for some people it is hard to accept their helplessness and admit that they can not handle it alone any further. Men especially inclined to feel so as they consider the whole condition a weakness. Then the feeling of shame is mixed with depression as well.

But in reality it has nothing to do with will power or the idea of masculinity or femininity, strength or weakness. Depression is an ailment that refers to both physical and emotional sides of a person. It is not just mood swings that come and go. And it is essential for a married couple to understand it. It is crucial to know what depression is and how to deal with it. It is also better (if possible) to treat the depression first and then handle other marital problems.

Generally mild depression might be handled by some simple means as activities and new impressions. But sometimes treatment presupposes going to a specialist. Sometimes it looks a hard task, close to impossible. But if you see that talks and walks and distractions fail to help, do your best to make your mate consult a doctor. Find ways to persuade your spouse, involve your children, parents, friends, whoever necessary, use whatever ways and take any measures that may work from your point of view.

If depression turned out too severe that natural ways are unable to help; if you see that your relationship drowns in negativity; if you are still concerned and love your partner, do not let the depression ruin your life. Make an effort.

Winter months bring us not only colds and flu but depression as well. It has a name of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and has the most effect on the people of non-northern countries. The percentage of people suffering from this problem in these countries is not objectively high but, on the other hand, quite significant if compared with its nearly absence in Nordic countries.

The disorder is evoked by the luck of the sufficient sunlight in this period of the year. This leads to the state when chemicals in hypothalamus get unbalanced. This is not generally a condition you fall ill with just once; every year with the lessening of the amount of light it repeats.

It is not generally considered very serious but in some people it can be a great problem as it interferes with their life and they cannot cope with it on their own without assistance. In the less serious form it still makes a person miserable and uncomfortable; it is called SAD or ‘winter blues’.

Seasonal Affective Disorder is generally characterized by the combination of the following symptoms: general feeling of depression; problems with sleeping (or strictly with getting up) and a tendency to over eating; also nervousness and anxiety that results in bad communication and social interaction, brings unnecessary restraint and tension; low sex drive; mood swings and loss if interest to things in general be it interests, hobbies or just any pastimes. A person feels low, blue and has no desire for anything; not that activities bring any pleasure.

The disorder was explained due to the lack of sunlight, also serotonin, and another theoretical reason is excess of melatonin produced by the pineal gland. The latter produces this hormone in small amounts usually. But in the condition of inadequate sunlight too much of melatonin is released into the blood flow affecting the sleep quality and general condition.

Nevertheless the people suffering from such ‘winter blues’ can be freed from it as there are means and cures. First of all such people should take every opportunity of a sunny day to spend it outdoors being involved in some activity. It has been acknowledged that human mood, level of energy and seasons are somehow connected. There is also a theory that SAD is wrongly considered a disorder as it is just some oddment of hibernation from our ancestors and is only normal and natural. It has been noticed that women are more liable to SAD than men and they suffer much more from it. SAD usually leads to major depressive disorder but in some people (20% if to be precise) it can even trigger bipolar disorder.

Classic seasonal affective disorder can be treated in different ways such as bright light therapy, medication, negative air ionization, let alone cognitive-behavioural therapy and psychotherapeutic techniques.

Different psychological therapies help to relax and accept the condition and find ways to struggle with it. There exist also a wide range of medications of the same purpose but, of course, their administration should be approved by the doctor.

What concerns bright light therapy it proved itself quite efficient in the majority of diagnosed cases. The therapy presupposes the treatment with a light-box. Normal light bulbs or the like would not do because they are not even half as powerful as necessary. An intensity of a typical house or office lightning is only 200-500 lux; while SAD can be treated at least with 2500 lux. And it is 100,000 lux for a typical summer day if to take it in comparison.

The therapy with a light-box is recommended on a regular basis in winter and during dull summer days as well. If you suffer from this disorder start practicing the treatment early in autumn or as soon as you feel any discomfort. The therapy presupposes that you sit two to three feet away from a light box for some time; make sure the light does not go directly into your eyes. You can do whatever you want in front of the light, minor household chores, reading, writing, sewing – anything that can keep you in the light for a prolonged period. If you use a light-box regularly you may hope for an improvement after three or four days. Remember that nothing should interfere with the light and do not wear tinted lenses. Light-boxes differ in intensity and some (i.e. with 10,000 lux intensity) can be required only for 30 minutes a day.

Speaking about the method of negative air ionization it is also considered quite effective. It functions by letting go of charged particles into the air during the time of your sleep and therefore favourably influencing the general being.

Remember that there are ways to get rid of seasonal depression; it will just require some effort and desire.

The state of depression implies emotional troubles in maintaining normal way of life. It is generally characterized by mood loss or swings; a person’s normal interests and activities bear no longer appeal for him or her and appear more as a tiresome and irritating routine; things do not give pleasure any more. A person becomes moody, easily irritated and even angry, sleeping and eating problems are also frequent.

Depression can have different forms. A light depression can be described in terms of general emotional breakdown and it is often long-term.

Dysthymia is another form. It represents a superior depression and is not easily recognized especially in people with high stamina. The worst case even is when a person suffers from double-depressive disorder (dysthemia and major state of depression in combination). In the cases of very deep depression it can have some psychotic features like hallucinations or a break with reality.

Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, is another form and is very frequent in people. It generally happens in wintertime due to the lack of sunlight. Absolutely normal and friendly people in summer turn to be gloomy, moody and even hostile in winter when they do not get enough sun.

More severe form of depression is bipolar depression disorder. Changes of mood from extremely high to extremely low features this illness. Another variation of the disorder is bipolar II. It is characterized by repeating depressive and hypomania periods.

The reasons for depression are various. Some depressions are genetically conditioned. Bipolar disorder, for example. It originates from unique gene blueprints and can be triggered and worsened by some outer factors. It is also genetically stipulated how a person reacts to stress and trauma. People are different and some are very fragile in this sense while others can appear quite tough and resilient to the same level of stress.

But generally it is mostly the surroundings and our interactions that lead to depression. Someone’s death, financial problems, relationship conflict, lots of other reasons and genetic elements (it is always a combination) provides us with depression. Some chemicals in our brain can become unbalanced and trigger depressive state, too.

Depression is treated but it is very important to find the most appropriate way. Antidepressants claim to be good and efficient but they, as other drug-related substances and alcohol, evoke addiction and can lead to the situation that a person can not control the situation and feel normal without them; this is fraught with trouble. Do not do anything rush and try to avoid these means if possible; generally a simple good talk is helpful. Sport and other related recreation activities distract the attention from the gloomy thoughts and make you feel better and healthier and happier. Traveling is another good distraction as it provides with new impressions, implies activity and gives new food for reflection.