About 18.8 million people are being affected by depression every year. Though it is not a physical disease and is treated skeptically by some people it is a hard emotional condition. Some people are even too embarrassed to talk about it.
Depression is not something you can hide and it might be even called “infectious” in some way. And it is definitely able to influence your relations with your near and dear. It may easily make your marriage a hell. Simply imagine living under one roof with a constantly displeased and gloomy person!
It is compulsory for any happy marriage that the emotional and mental health of both partners was in order; otherwise it will be hell. The mood and tension will spread all around the house and make another partner also miserable; the whole marriage thing will be put at risk.
Depression brings dissatisfaction, displeasure, apathy and a desire to withdraw. The depressed partner is unhappy but so is the other one. He or she in their turn tries hard to heal this emotional breakdown, to understand and handle permanent negativity, isolation and frequent decrease in sex drive. This is very hard. The depression of one makes the whole relationship dreary. Everything around seems negative at first and then it turns negative. It is very hard for a depressed person to see the light side of the things, to see any perspective. This makes things even worse. There are other possibilities but the depressed person seems oblivious of them. Sometimes depression is so severe that there it is not only a prospect of positive that seems impossible; there is no energy to want to seek it.
Depression is characterized by total indifference to any activities, former interests and hobbies; a person is easily and quickly exhausted; he experiences problems with sleeping and eating; it is hard to concentrate and follow through your responsibilities. Your feelings and desires become less expressed and you may even fell indifferent. And here is the worst risk – your partner can decide that you no longer love him or her.
Sometimes depression feels like as if life happens to you not that you live you life. The further the worse you feel. You can have a very deep desire to be left alone and in no need to communicate or contact. The whole condition is accompanied by the sensations of sorrow and dejection, utter gloom and irritation; or otherwise emotional numbness.
And once again, the most dangerous consequence is that the dull and depressed atmosphere around one partner is able to depress the other mate as well. When it happens is looks like the whole big thing that both have been creating for so long is going into pieces as no one sees the light; there is no one who is positive. The whole relationship sinks in negative.
Sometimes misunderstanding also impairs the state of things when one of the mates does not understands the depression of the other side and explains it wrong and starts blaming for nothing. Then resentment and irritation add themselves to the depression.
And though there is nothing to be ashamed in this condition for some people it is hard to accept their helplessness and admit that they can not handle it alone any further. Men especially inclined to feel so as they consider the whole condition a weakness. Then the feeling of shame is mixed with depression as well.
But in reality it has nothing to do with will power or the idea of masculinity or femininity, strength or weakness. Depression is an ailment that refers to both physical and emotional sides of a person. It is not just mood swings that come and go. And it is essential for a married couple to understand it. It is crucial to know what depression is and how to deal with it. It is also better (if possible) to treat the depression first and then handle other marital problems.
Generally mild depression might be handled by some simple means as activities and new impressions. But sometimes treatment presupposes going to a specialist. Sometimes it looks a hard task, close to impossible. But if you see that talks and walks and distractions fail to help, do your best to make your mate consult a doctor. Find ways to persuade your spouse, involve your children, parents, friends, whoever necessary, use whatever ways and take any measures that may work from your point of view.
If depression turned out too severe that natural ways are unable to help; if you see that your relationship drowns in negativity; if you are still concerned and love your partner, do not let the depression ruin your life. Make an effort.